


Mistakes Were Made.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [47]
Category: South Park
Genre: Drunken Mistakes, Love/Hate, M/M, Parties, kenny is an asshole, no actual romance, pining?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Everyone was drunk, it was a party, they were in an argument.How they ended up making out neither would have any idea.





	Mistakes Were Made.

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't be bothered to write a summary.
> 
> I don't know how to characterise, so sorry, but I really wanted to write a Kyman oneshot since I love the ship and get annoyed every time I go onto the Kyman tag and see the long list of tags from my own collection (from when it was 65 oneshots in one fic) 
> 
> It seems a little incomplete because it should have been longer, but I'm too tired to think about it right now. Enjoy~
> 
> TW- drug and alcohol use, a little more dirty than usual but not by much, weird British terms (I swear that I've never seen paracetamol mentioned in an American fanfic, so it might be called something different over there. Idk what though, so sorry. Also, fisticuffs.)

Like most students their age, the senior year of South Park High were prone to going to parties, getting drunk and/or high and doing things that they'd regret later. So it was no surprise that at one such party the infamous Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman stopped their incessant screaming match to begin an impromptu makeout session. In the foyer of Token's house. While their partners watched. And Kenny got the whole thing on film.

Yes, many mistakes were made that night.

Kyle groaned as the light poured in from his slightly open curtains, hitting his eyes with a searing pain. Clutching at his forehead like that would make the pain go away, he groggily sat up and tried to remember what the actual hell he'd gotten drunk (and stupid) enough to do the previous night. Faint flashes of laughter and endless shots of cheap drinks mixed together, probably spiked with some random shit entered his mind. Wherever his common sense had ran off to that night, he had no idea.

Another muted memory flew by. Something to do with Cartman. Probably one of their drunken fights which he'd heard so much about from Kenny. Supposedly they were the stuff of legend, so fierce and wild that everyone within a mile's radius stopped to watch them, usually cheering and making bets on who would emerge victorious. Fortunately, Kyle was apparently the victor more often than Cartman. He was glad of that, since it would have been far more humiliating if he lost each time.

But then his mind cleared a little further, and something rather different came to mind. Heat. Not the kind which accompanied his temper, but the kind which he'd only felt before with Stan. Only this time, the feeling accompanied thoughts of Cartman. Oh. Oh.

He was so fucked.

*

Cartman woke up in a similar state to Kyle, only he wasn't alone nor was he at home. By the looks of it, he was in a bush. Glaring at the dark green leaves as if they'd personally wronged him, he rolled out of the shrub as best he could whilst not tearing his already ruined clothing which he definitely hadn't been wearing upon arriving at the stupid party. Deceptive thoughts of Kyle already flooded his brain, and he pushed the, back with the desperate hope that they were some kind of weed-induced wet dream.

No such luck.

Upon disentangling himself from the wicked plant, Cartman's attention was finally drawn to the other person concealed within. Heidi lay half in the bush and half out, blocking a hole which he definitely could have left through had he not been extremely hungover. Groaning in irritation, he briefly contemplated waking her before remembering that they'd had some sort of argument after The Thing That Did Not Happen Between Him And Kyle, which somehow ended up with both of them passing out in the bush.

Still too hungover to give a shit about the girlfriend he'd had for too long and hadn't cared about for years, he left her there and went home.

*

After a few hours, plenty of paracetamol and some strong coffee, Kyle's hangover had faded enough to text Stan and ask about the previous night. Judging by the fact that the text had been read and ignored, the fuzzy visions of Cartman's lips against his were not some awful nightmare as he'd so desperately hoped. Shit.

He never should have let the assholes he called friends persuade him to go to that damn party.

When his phone buzzed the redhead expected it to be from Stan, but to his surprise it was actually from Heidi. It was very apologetic and filled with emojis as she asked if he'd come and get her because she was in a bush with no way to get back home.

Deciding that he needed a distraction anyway, he pulled on a coat and left the cosy warmth of his house to save his friend from her hangover.

*

A few minutes later, Kyle was standing outside of Token's house where Heidi sat at the kerb with a relieved smile lighting up her face.

"Thank you so much! I was worried that you wouldn't show, and I didn't have anyone else to turn to..." She continued thanking him in a slightly frantic manner, indicating that she probably remembered last night as well. Kyle felt a flare of anger rise in his gut at how wrapped around Cartman's finger she'd become. Most of her old friends had abandoned her when she chose him over there, and Kyle was one of the few who remained. When he was younger, he'd believed it to be because he liked her, but now he wasn't so sure. Occasionally, when he wasn't in his right mind, usually because of the influence of some miscellaneous substance, he'd wonder if perhaps he'd actually been jealous of her.

"Don't worry about it." He said quickly in response to Heidi's monologue. She stopped talking quickly as he extended a hand to her, instead taking it and letting him pull her to her feet. "Can you walk okay?" Kyle asked, concern entering his voice. They were still friends, jealous or not. Heidi nodded shakily. She looked as if she'd been through three wars in one night. Her clothes were torn and muddy, and her hair was sticking up in many places. Her brown eyes seemed completely devoid of life.

Slowly they made their way down the street to Heidi's house, where Kyle dropped her off with a final, reassuring smile. She returned it, although her eyes were filled with an inherent sadness which he knew was because of him.

Pushing his guilt away, he quickly returned home.

*

Cartman had barely realised that he was heading to Kenny's house until he got there. Slipping in through the back window (with some difficulty considering that he was still fairly hungover), he found himself face to face with a surprisingly cheerful blond.

"Cartman! Just the guy I wanted to see. I got a kickass video of you and Kyle going at it last night." Kenny grinned, winking when the brunet rolled his eyes at the double entendre.

"You'd better not have posted that online." Was all he said. Shaking his head, Kenny grabbed some coffee from a broken pot and poured it into a paper cup, handing it to him with too much energy for someone who had been out all night. Then again though, the blond's tolerance for both drugs and alcohol was incredibly high, so it made sense that he wasn't very hungover the next day.

The video was just as awful as he'd thought. His heart leapt into his throat as the desire to punch someone came into mind at exactly the same time upon seeing Kyle, and the embarrassingly loud shouts of everyone around them as their argument devolved into fisticuffs made him cringe just by seeing it. And then came the really awful part.

Somehow he and Kyle had ended up tangled in each other's limbs, with the brunet on top and Kyle lying below him. At this point, Kenny had zoomed in excessively on their faces, muffled laughter being the loudest sound in the microphone as he held it too close to his mouth. Their faces slowly got closer as the shouting resumed. Then suddenly they weren't shouting but kissing. Cartman couldn't even tell who had started. The scream from someone who sounded suspiciously like Heidi and the sound of someone puking who was most definitely Stan by the sounds of Kenny's laughter could be heard in the background as the camera continued to record the two of them.

Cartman quickly grabbed Kenny's phone out of his hands and deleted the video (much to the blond's protest), tossing the device across the room afterwards. He received a glare of mock irritation in response. He flipped Kenny off as he laughed.

"Fuck you Kinny."

*

Several more hours had passed, and Stan still hadn't responded. Kyle sighed, burying his face into his pillow. He had tried ignoring his phone, studying, reading and playing Call of Duty with his brother, but it was no use. He wanted to see Stan, but he wanted to see Cartman as well. Maybe he could figure out how much the other remembered. At the same time though, he was dreading seeing the awful brunet again. There were so many other people he could have drunkenly cheated on Stan with. Why did it have to be him?

Suppressing the urge to groan and instead sighing, he rolled over to face the pristine white surface of his ceiling, regrets and faint, vague, probably non-existent desires floated through his chaotic brain as he tried to find a foothold on his thoughts.

God damn it Cartman.

**Author's Note:**

> I liked writing this. Sorry if the ending looks forced. I feel like I've been through an entire week of work without sleeping in just one day, so my writing has suffered as a result (despite this being one of my better oneshots in my opinion since I had more inspiration).
> 
> See you soon~
> 
> Prompt- Two people dating other people pine for each other and hate each other too.
> 
> This was gonna be Jalph with background Ralmon and possibly Jager except Roger was also either in love with someone else or just not in love with Jack, but I didn't want to write it because I love Simon too much to make him suffer any more (and I've done something sort of similar in the 'voyeur' oneshot).
> 
> Original Number- 29.


End file.
